Blind-EyePhotography

I am sooooooo freaking excited!!! The photo competition i entered this summer has chosen one of my photographs to be in their publication this year even though I wasn't one of the top 10!!! What a honor!! I am soooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!

Check it out ---->blind-eyephotography.deviantar…

Do you remember??

Do you remember when a song was about feeling not about the action? It may have still been about sex, but it was about the emotions of sex not the action.

I remember being so wrapped up in songs I would would go into a small sleep truly listening to it. Listening to the beat, the emotion that was sang. Let it surround me.

Have you felt a song dance around you? the words moving around like planets in space. I can. They float moving to the beat...the notes of the song. Listen to it move....it is quite a wonderful experience. That is what music is about. To feel it....let it lift you....let it surpress you.....let it be in control.

I think music is not only an expression of a artist, but a expression of everything that the world is. If you find just the right song, it feels like you are connected to everything all at once. It is a high.

I feel like driving fast, feel the wind....close my eyes.....fly! I want to dance. That is what music does to me.

I feel if i dance i may be able to fly, or at least let my soul fly. It is up in the wind, with the right words. It is carried away on the wind, like leaves in the autumn breeze.

Music rocks my world, colors it, fills it. Creates a fabulous feeling to create, to go to the unconscious part of the brain and be free.

The saying "Reality is what you make of it," i think means what you believe should be true for a normal life is what everyone wants of reality.

Mine saying "In your own eye is the vison of reality" is meant to mean, No matter what your are taught while living your life what should be reality, is not really the reality your soul wants.

To be true to yourself, and your art, you need to see the reality of what you feel in your soul.  Feel art, like a passion.  Feel  the energy of what is unique to your personal soul. Like a finger print, feel the uniqueness that is yourself. Only you can express life in a way that no-one else will ever be able to.

So be free in your art.  I am going to take this week off of school to be free with my soul, and enjoy the uniqueness of my own life reality.  If I figure out how to put photos in a journal, I would love to start a featured journal for art that is designed with the soul purpose of showing art that was created to show the world the artist unique soul.

Is feeling really down tonight.....and what happens when that happens? i come here.  what the heck is wrong with me.  

Why does coming here and looking at art, or complaining on this site make me feel better?

So i may be doing a photo shoot soon.  i asked my fb page if anyone was up for it and in a matter of seconds i had someone want me to take their picture.  I am working on some ideas.  I just want to try some different stuff, not sure how that would work with clothes and stuff.  i mean I just want some different clothes then what they would wear to a family photo shoot. I have brilliant ideas, and no canvas.

I feel stuck.  I feel like a failure.  I just am not getting what i want in life. I feel so stuck.  I want to grow up, move out, own my own stuff. I want to travel.  I want to be at school all the time.  i don't want to work at my job anymore.  i want to work somewhere else.  I want...i want...i want.  GOD I sound like a freaking 2 year old. who the f cares what i want.  I shouldn't.  I should just keep going with the way life is maybe.  life is stupid anyways.  fun doesn't come around near as much as it should.  i want to live forever and yet i just don't see the point in life.  It is just a short life, and blip in the whole story in the story of the world.  I doubt even my story will matter.

Who am i?  Im never going to matter.  I am never going to be important, but then again whats the point in that. Once your dead your dead, who the hell cares if your remembered.  I love art because it leaves a piece of me behind, but the world is art, and I am just stealing what it already has to show and call it my art.  Why?  Because I want to be recognized.  I could run around the town naked and get the same recognition.  A moment...maybe two of being seen and noticed in this world of looking down and not caring about one another, and then blip, i am forgotten.  

I want to be loved.  I want to be feel like i am important to someone...then maybe then life would have a reason.  I just want to be wanted.  I live to be wanted.  Must be what the rest of the world is doing to.  I think everyone just lives to be wanted.  That is why this world is so pathetic.  Everyone is so worried about surviving that they forget to want or be wanted by others.

Tomorrow I am going to show someone that they are wanted.  Maybe then they will want me, or say something to make me feel wanted, even if maybe for a sec.  Maybe that sec will last me for a long time...who knows, maybe it just will make me hungry for more.  Maybe then i will need it too much....more than i do now.  

Just forget it.  I have decided i really don't care. If I am wanted I am.  If im not who cares.  Life is going to keep moving whether i am wanted or not.   So I will keep moving, dancing on, singing, creating art, because if it is all pointless i might as well enjoy myself.  You only live once. Might as well do what feels right.  Art feels right.  Art feels perfect.  It feels like the perfect castle of my dreams.  It is like happy ending of a fairy tale.  It is contentment, It is happiness, it is love, it is a small bit of forever.  Art is what make life beautiful.  It is a fairy tale and i am going to continue dreaming of the happily ever after that keeps me looking forward to the end of the story.  

Art is my happily ever after.

I went out to shoot photos with my dad today.  I am trying to go shooting with him as much as I can because his sight is almost gone.  This week has been really hard on him I think.  I wish with all my heart this wasn't happening to him.  How bad does it suck to have everything you love to do taken away from you.  

He is such a brave guy dealing with it as well has he has been, and I hold him in high respects for it, because I couldn't do it.  I would have terrible thoughts. It makes me so sad to know that a my dad the photographer, is going blind.    That is why I called this page blind eye photography, because it is because of him I love photography as much as I do today.  If it weren't for being around him and photography my whole life I don't think I would have ever gotten into it.  

So a big thanks goes out to my dad for everything.  And a big prayer goes out to his future.  I hope that my mom, brother and I can figure everything out and make life easier and happier for him.

So I will be uploading pictures later from the shoot at the butterfly garden later.  I think I got quite a few decent shots.

Till then.  TA TA.

Sammi